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When first traveling on an airplane with our baby and toddler, I tried several things to introduce the concept, make it fun, and have us all as prepared as possible. Depending on the child’s age at the time, challenging aspects may include staying seated with little wiggle room, limited opportunities to get up and use the bathroom (think take-off and landing/seatbelt sign), seat placement with caregivers or siblings, the loud sounds in the plane, the foreign concept of flying through the air, or just trying to sleep (or failing to) on the airplane itself.
I’ve been on many flights in my life (solo, with family, with friends, with coworkers), but I continue to learn something new every time. These are some of the things I think through as I prepare, and the ones I consider most important for that very first flight.
Talk about it. At the toddler stage (and any time thereafter), knowing what to expect can be really helpful, regardless of whether your child is go-with-the-flow, anxious, or anywhere in between. Uncertainty or stress can show up as a toddler withdrawing, crying, or acting out. Getting prepared can be really helpful. Leading up to our first trip, we talked about the airplane in particular… it definitely helped to “hype it up.” We talked about who would be going (e.g., “You’ll be with Mommy and Daddy the whole time. Your sister too.”). We talked about how long we would be gone. We talked about where we would sleep (on the airplane and at our destination). We talked about what to expect in the airplane, including where we would sit. When in doubt, visit your local library to find children’s books on taking a first flight to help prepare.
Think about sleep. Parents often have strong opinions on nap time vs. non-nap time (or red eye) flights. I think this depends on the child. Just know, you’re taking a gamble. To me, a nap-time flight is high risk, high reward. My kids generally do well napping on the plane from what I’ve seen from them so far; however, know that if your kid struggles to sleep, you may have an extra-cranky travel companion on your hands. Remember, you can survive this, but patience will be key. So keep timing in mind. If you’re gambling on a nap time flight, consider what is happening next. Is this the first leg of a 16 hour travel day? Or is this a non-stop flight and you’ll reach your destination soon after? How important is it that your child arrive rested and ready to go? If we’re headed right to our cozy, ready-to-go Airbnb, I might take that gamble. If we’re rushing to meet a long connecting flight or getting in the car for a two-hour road trip before arriving at the main event of the trip, I’m going to either try to avoid it, or walk in to the situation with eyes open. I also consider travel companions. If I’m alone, I’m less likely to take big gambles. If I’m traveling with my husband and/or grandparents or other sets of hands, I know I have back-up and can take a bigger gamble if myself or my toddlers arrive tired and cranky. For overnight flights, consider trying to keep as many pieces as stable as possible, mimicking their normal bedtime routine at home. For example, we may bring a light/packable blanket (these are very packable) and small stuffed animal (like these) to have while sleeping on an overnight (or even naptime) flight. We may also change into pajamas and brush teeth in the airport bathroom right before boarding call. Does your child need a pull-up for a nap-time or overnight flight (bring two!)? This is easy to forget, but a life-saver to keep accessible in your or your child’s carry-on bag.
Make your life simple. Within the U.S., there are various ways to expedite the long lines we often wait in on travel days. These include various options through TSA as well as private organizations (options like TSA Pre-Check/Global Entry, CLEAR, and others). Insider tip: before you apply for any of these options, check your credit card benefits to see if you have a credit card that will cover the cost of these (you just might!). Having some of these time-saving options can give kids a little less time to have to sit/stand still (can be the hardest part of a travel day… depending on the age of your child!) and/or save you in a time crunch like a close-call connecting flight. Particularly worth looking into if you can get them for free with an existing credit card.
Overpack on snacks. If there’s one thing that’s worth the space in a carry-on, it’s snacks. While I do like some of the fun snack containers (e.g., snackle box or spinners), consider bringing these only when you have plenty of space. For an overseas vacation where we’re struggling to stay in carry-on only, I would opt for Ziploc or reusable sealable bags. I bring those larger snack boxes only if I both have space and intend to re-fill them for the flight home (such as buying food to refill them at a local grocery store before heading home). I advise overpacking on snacks for a few reasons. First, hungry toddlers are grumpy toddlers (just like hungry adults are grumpy adults): we can take one possible source of difficult behavior off the table. A second reason is that airport snacks are expensive. A third reason (if you need one) is that snacks are good entertainment (especially small snacks like cheerios or small crackers like Goldfish).
Think about potty trips. Regardless of the exact needs at the time, traveling with young kids involves thinking ahead about diapers and/or bathrooms. First, we need lots of wipes. You knew this, but we can’t forget that one. This applies to kids of any age. Wipes are great for a quick-clean method on-the-go. If your child is in diapers, the one piece of travel advice I’m sure you’ve seen before you found this article is “bring more diapers than you think you need.” This is good advice. Changes in pressure/altitude and just bad luck mean that blowouts happen. Bringing extra diapers and a change of clothes for baby and parent is a great idea. As discussed, pull-ups are easy to forget, but may be a vital piece of a successful naptime flight in an otherwise potty trained kid. We just finished potty training our youngest in advance of several flights in the upcoming months. When thinking through this timing, I knew that I did not want to wait until just before these flights to take on potty training (same goes for road trips!!). Being immobile during take-off and landing (and other turbulence) means that the accessibility of a potty is WAY lower than your kid is probably used to. If we can avoid it, we don’t want to be newly potty trained and on an airplane (I’d say leave yourself at least 2 months if you can!).
Consider your gear. This includes travel strollers, car seats, and/or baby carriers (my personal favorite - I like to travel light and I want my kids mostly walking through the airport!). The bottom line here is to know the rules of your airline. Most will allow this type of gear, but size and number of item restrictions may apply. This is something important to look into before your flight.
Prepare for your seating arrangements. After being separated from my toddler on a “basic economy” fare (yes, we fixed it; no, the airline didn’t help), I’ll never repeat this mistake. Even though the airline swore this went against their policy and couldn’t happen again, I contacted the airline after check-in both by calling customer support and by talking with the gate agent. Yet, neither one offered any help to ensure basic safety. Let’s avoid this, shall we? There has been some federal legislation at different points proposing that this not be allowed and that parents should not have to pay more than a normal ticket for basic safety measures for their 2 year old, but as it currently stands, there is a lot of variability in how airlines handle this (both in what they claim and in what they actually do). My advice is to call the airline after you book your ticket (well in advance of departure/check in time) and confirm that your young child will be seated with you (especially if you book a basic ticket).
Stay calm. I know it can be annoying and unhelpful to hear that your anxiety and frustrations will negatively impact your kid. You don’t want to be experiencing them either, so of course you’re not doing so internationally. So I’ll keep the advice short and sweet here. For me, there are a few things I can do to lower my anxiety on a travel day and help keep things moving smoothly. My husband and I tend to leave too many to-do’s for the morning of the trip, and leave in a flustered rush. This is extremely unproductive. I’ve made it a conscious goal to prepare as much as possible to avoid this flurry of activity on the morning-of. Whether that looks like having an easy-to-view list of the last-minute items to pack, packing the car the night before, refilling snacks and diaper bags, or setting out everyone’s clothes the night before, simple prep goes a looong way to having a smooth travel day.
It’s normal to be nervous about a big step with young kids. I hope this helps get the wheels turning as you prepare. Wishing you safe and happy travels!